Facebook Jokes & Quotations

Find below the best jokes quotes and cute jokes quotations for friends. You can also use our collection as facebook jokes status. We have collected unique jokes on facebook to share with everyone. These FB jokes can be used in jokes greetings.

  • A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
  • A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke – and that the joke is oneself.
  • I don’t mind making jokes, but I don’t want to look like one
  • Coffee isn’t my cup of tea.
  • If your wife wants to learn to drive, don’t stand in her way.

Jokes quotations

  • All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me.
  • Do you think I am standing here, making this up as I go? I am sorry to disillusion you. I am not Robin Williams. I am the king of the pen.
  • Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
  • I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
  • The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
  • A joke is a very serious thing.
  • The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow.
  • For every ten jokes you acquire a hundred enemies.
  • Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I’ll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
  • There’s only 1 problem with being a caring person.. Sometimes the people you care about don’t care about you!!
  • “In polite society one laughs at all the jokes, including the ones one has heard before.”
  • “I gleaned jests at home from obsolete farces.”
  • “Jokes are grievances.”
  • I used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright Nooooooooow.
  • If you’re being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They’re trained for that!
  • A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He’s out there now…trying to win a trip back!
  • My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She used to pick up CB signals.
  • A poet in history is divine, but a poet in the next room is a joke.
  • “The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being, but to remind him that he is already degraded”
  • “The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing in front of a candle making shadows of people on a tree.”
  • “Children always know when company is in the living room – they can hear their mother laughing at their father’s jokes”
  • I know why Superman left Krypton. Earth was the only place he could get steroids!
  • A man commented to his lunch companion: “My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she’d married a millionaire.” “You’re lucky,” sighed the companion.
  • “My wife dreams that in the daytime.”
  • Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
  • Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.

Jokes Quotes

Are you browsing net for jokes quotes? Now you are on site where you are going to get best collection of jokes quotes. If you like our jokes quotes then also send these to friends. Our writers have spent time in doing research online to provide you the cute jokes quotes and jokes on facebook. Read these quotes jokes and facebook jokes and use them on greetings cards or send message on mobiles.

  • The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
  • Advice is sometimes transmitted more successfully through a joke than grave teaching.
  • The problem with political jokes is they get elected.
  • A civil servant doesn’t make jokes.
  • A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.
  • If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
  • Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
  • Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.
  • Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
  • Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  • We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
  • All the jokes in my films, the comedy, they’re not me, I just try to hold a big mirror up to us.
  • Man begins by loving love and ends by loving a woman. Woman begins by loving a man and ends by loving love.
  • “Well, I learned a lot….I went down to (Latin America) to find out from them and (learn) their views. You’d be surprised. They’re all individual countries”
  • Facts are stupid things.” -at the 1988 Republican National Convention, attempting to quote John Adams, who said, “Facts are stubborn things”
  • All the waste in a year from a nuclear power plant can be stored under a desk.”
  • The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help.’”